Look Out! It’s A High Speed Holiday Train!

Who says California does not have a high-speed train? We are on one right now, hurtling at an unGodly speed towards the holidays. Thanksgiving threw us for a loop by happening on the flippin’ 28th of November. WTF People-In-Charge-Of-Calendars? Thanksgiving weekend is supposed to be the start of the procrastination season, which leads into the…

Two Bottles of Champagne

I have two bottles of champagne in the fridge. They have been there since election night, 2016. They were supposed to be used to celebrate the election of the first woman president in United States history. Now they are being saved for the day that this hideous, offensive monstrosity either resigns or is incarcerated. Today,…

That Trump Is Funny!

My searing contempt for the half-human that infests our White House has had devastating effects on me.  I have become so obsessed with removing Cheatolini from office that I overlook basic daily functions like laundry and bathing. I’m overwhelmed with my inability to stop the blatant criminal activity, and the obvious linear path to authoritarianism,…